things done

 have bought 2 k use for J to travel

been to spa every day 

today is slim set 

very tough and nice 

market place has many cars 

strict security

I bought burgers for J

made burgers for dinner 

can't wait

 He mentioned he can't wait to get out of this country.

I wish him the best 

It will be lighter for me to live without him 

I told him to give me two years to get things settled and follow him

do not give up our love I said 

I am not sure about that 

They are so pretentious 

am I been duped all these years 

idle

 Ordered burger for j and now I am idle 

no driver so I am not going to market 

will drive later to where 

want massage 

will buy food for dinner 

have to pick up the earrings left in spa 

ask t to do it for me

what to do when idle 

read and listen dharma 

pray and meditate 

that's what holy monks do 

so i will reach nirvana 

cash

 second payment only at the end of the month 

later in January 20th latest

so cannot spend too much till I get replenishment 

hope to sell another one

breakfast

 The mommy baby asked me to join her for breakfast 

I got medicines for back pain

looks like post covid cause lower back pain with spondylosis to people 

J will plan for dinner for my bd 

depressed

 Life is depressing this last few years till today 

But I can forget about it and get used to the failure 

tears are a second away if you give up 

smile and laugh can be there as well 

hectic run around yesterday

 I was getting results from airport clinic and they found a compressed fracture

to check osteoporosis 

end up in ph and agreed to do surgery 

he said not to do before his departure so i postponed

and it is not an emergency 

so I decide not to do it

today court date and the con man does not show not even his lawyer 

and I came back to appoint a lawyer and do it two weeks later 

so slow every appointments 

have massage today 

buy medicines